


Let's go I guess

by AnxiousDragonfruit



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA HOW TO WRITE SUMMARIES, ITS MORE THEN THE SUMMARY I SWEAR, Light Angst, M/M, Road trip hoes, Trans Male Character (only briefly mentioned in one spot haha), first fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:53:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23153581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnxiousDragonfruit/pseuds/AnxiousDragonfruit
Summary: College au. Kokichi and Shuichi go on a road trip to see D.I.C.E.
Relationships: (Mentioned) Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, (Mentioned) Kirigiri Kyoko/Naegi Makoto, Oma Kokichi & DICE, Oma Kokichi & Saihara Shuichi, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 8
Kudos: 196





	Let's go I guess

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic I wrote back in late January. Looking through this.. I've gotten better since then :'). To clear things up, this was part of an au I was making and then scrapped. Bascially it's a college au where all the rivals (Byakuya, Nagito, Kokichi) room together, all the kinda female "waifus" (Kaede, Kyoko, Chiaki) room together and all the main protaganists (Hajime, Shuichi, Makoto) room together. They're all neighbours, and they all went to high school together. 
> 
> They all have no Ultimate Talents, as this a modern au. Hope this clears that up! 
> 
> Again, this might be a bit poor quality as I'm getting used to writing. Sorry for the dozens of grammar errors. I hope you enjoy, feel free to put any feedback in the comments below! (I very much need it, haha.)
> 
> Also, originally Shuichi's thoughts were in italic and the tetxing was in bold, but at the time of writing this, I haven't figured out how to do that. Sorry, I hope that doesn't make it hard to read. (Edit! Fixed.. Hopefully.)

_**EmoSushi > TheGrapeRat** _

**1:46 AM**

**EmoSushi:** ..Hey.

 **EmoSush** i: I haven’t heard from you for awhile.

 **EmoSushi** : Komaeda told me you’ve been upset lately

 **EmoSushi:** Are you okay?

Shuichi squeezed his phone a bit harder, and took the shot.

**EmoSushi:** I missed you.

He realised he was holding his breath a little as he watched Kokichi’s text bubble appear.

**TheGrapeRat:** Oh? Shuichi missed me? How cute.

Ah fuck, knew it.

Yeah. Something was wrong. Usually in Kokichi’s texts there would be poor grammar, nicknames, and Iots! Of! Exclamation! Points! After! Every! Word! If Kokichi typed this way, he was going autopilot. His words were bland and hadn’t had much expression put into them, meaning he didn’t have the effort to put on his usual over-the-top act.

..That, or.. Shuichi was _majorly_ overthinking things.

 **EmoSushi:** It’s almost 2 am?? Why are you still up??

 **TheGrapeRat:** Well, if I have to tell you.

 **TheGrapeRat** : Hajime has decided to visit my dear friend and roommate Nagito.

 **TheGrapeRat:** It’s.. very loud, so I’m unable to sleep.

 **TheGrapeRat:** They seem to be having a lot of fun though.

Shuichi felt his face heat up, before realising that he was the last in his apartment to go to bed, so there’s no way Hajime could’ve snuck past and gone to Komaeda’s. What a damn liar!

**EmoSushi:** You’re lying Kokichi >:(

 **EmoSushi:** besides.. I don’t think they’d be doing anything.. like that

 **TheGrapeRat:** Like what?

 **TheGrapeRat:** They could’ve just been playing a board game and being loud about it.

 **TheGrapeRat:** Geez. Didn’t think you had such a dirty mind Shuichi.

_That’s not it! You know what you were saying!_ Shuichi thought, his face heating up more and more.

**TheGrapeRat:** Well. If that’s all, you should sleep.

 **TheGrapeRat:** Goodnight Shuichi.

Wait. Shuichi realised what Kokichi was doing. By teasing him and getting him distracted, he could avoid Shuichi, bottle things up, he’d done it a lot, but still sometimes Shuichi got caught up in it. But not so easily this time though.

**EmoSushi:** hey wait

 **TheGrapeRat:** ?

 **EmoSushi:** seriously r u ok??

 **EmoSushi:** you can tell me y’know

 **TheGrapeRat:** Hm. Are you trying to lure me into a false sense of security so you can ultimately kill me? How low Shuichi.

He was trying to distract him, dancing and dodging the problem, but Shuichi wasn’t going to let him. He had to play his cards right. ..As silly as typing out this was.

**EmoSushi:** Drat. My plans have been foiled, oh noooo

 **EmoSushi:** But I guess now you have to tell me huh? So you can catch me out when I decide to strike :)

Shuichi internally cringed at his texts, _please just.. never make me write that out again._

**TheGrapeRat:** Huh. You make a good point.

 **TheGrapeRat:** I guess I’ll have to, you absolute psychopathic killer.

 **EmoSushi:** :)

 **TheGrapeRat** : It’s just..

 **TheGrapeRat:** Well.

 **TheGrapeRat:** Hng.

 **TheGrapeRat:** I miss my family.

Now that caught Shuichi off guard. He expected that.. and he also didn’t. Also, the way Kokichi said it.. so bluntly? Shuichi felt a flicker of pride and hope that he was earning more and more of the other boys trust for him to be comfortable admitting something like that.

**TheGrapeRat:** Ah, you’re taking awhile to text back. Thinking over how silly it is huh? I know. Well, goodnight again!

_NO SHIT WAIT-_

**EmoSushi:** Nono I was just lost in thought

 **EmoSushi:** Kokichi, I totally understand. I miss my uncle lots.

 **EmoSushi:** And of course, you and your siblings are really close.. so it’s understandable, certainly not stupid.

Shuichi has met the whole of D.I.C.E a few times. Maybe more, because he never knows if Kokichi is talking to a maskless member or.. a complete stranger. Kokichi never tells which one.

Shuichi has gotten tidbits of information about how horrific Kokichi’s childhood was, growing up in an awful orphanage, then running away with 9 of the kids he was closest to. They slowly gained enough to all live together, and they weren’t really an organisation as Kokichi claimed, more of a close-knit family.

Of course he’d miss them. It was.. rather sweet really.

**TheGrapeRat:** Yeah.. I’m still keeping contact with them, literally just called all those idiots last night. But it just feels.. Not enough.

 **TheGrapeRat:** I feel terrible, honestly. So so stupid right?

 **TheGrapeRat:** The great, and evil supreme leader, Kokichi Ouma running out on them all to go to college almost 3 hours away.

 **TheGrapeRat:** Even the stupid older ones are studying closer to the home so that they can still stay and look after the stupid younger ones.

TheGrapeRat: Pathetic huh?

TheGrapeRat: Truly, this is waaaay off performance for me.

It wasn’t pathetic. Shuichi could 100% vouch for that. He still remembers watching Kokichi’s inner struggle about going to the college. For him, it was friends or family. But D.I.C.E told him to go and that they’d all be fine. Shuichi knew that Kokichi still didn’t believe that, but Shuichi knew that D.I.C.E loved their leader to bits and truly was happy for him.

**EmoSushi:** hey. It’s not, again I’m glad you talk to me

Kokichi had been opening up to him in the last two years of high school, when they got really close. This was when Kokichi found Shuichi having a panic attack, for.. a reason Shuichi didn’t want to think about, and helped calm him down. In his own.. weird way. Which actually worked? This prompted Shuichi to ask him how he knew how to calm people down, and Kokichi opened up to him about helping his siblings with stuff like this.

From there, they exchanged their trusts, a wary curiosity of the other slowly danced its way into a strong friendship.

Ever since high school they had been very close, and texted each other almost every night.

Close enough for Shuichi to..

**TheGrapeRat:** I would go see them but. Y’know.

Yeah. That. Kokichi was broke, and didn’t have a car. Barely just had a drivers license too, he had to borrow others cars to learn. Kokichi had never had much, but he always assured Shuichi that it was “eh, not glamorous but we get through alright.”

Actually, the whole reason Kokichi came to this college and was learning to get a degree in psychology was because he was trying to earn enough money to come back and give DICE everything that they never had.

Kokichi had admitted that in confidence, around 4 am one morning when his guard was down.

Shuichi was still in wonder how he’d learned so much about the once-mysterious boy.

Made him feel.. good, maybe the one of the only good things he had going for him.

_Shit! Lost in thought again!_

**EmoSushi:** Yeah. I’m sorry. I only just got my car from my uncle last week.

Wait. Car.

Shuichi had a car.

**TheGrapeRat:** Yeah. Guess I’ll have to wait a few more months until break and I can go see them.

 **TheGrapeRat:** I

 **TheGrapeRat:** I’m sure I can hold out till then.

Shuichi had a car!

**EmoSushi:** NO KOKICHI WAIT WAIT

 **EmoSushi:** FUCK THAT, I HAVE A CAR

 **TheGrapeRat:** ??

Oh yes, this was Shuichi’s finest 2 AM, sleep deprived idea yet.

**EmoSushi:** LETS GO

 **EmoSushi:** RIGHT NOW

 **EmoSushi:** PACK A LIGHT BAG AND GET DRESSED, I’LL MEET YOU OUTSIDE YOUR APARTMENT IN TEN

 **TheGrapeRat:** WHAT?

 **TheGrapeRat:** HOLY SHIT SHUICHI YOU SURE??

 **TheGrapeRat:** WHAT ABOUT CLASSES?

 **EmoSushi:** FUCK CLASSES, LETS GO

 **EmoSushi:** unless you don’t want to?

 **TheGrapeRat:** NAH HOLY SHIT IM WITH YOU

 **TheGrapeRat:** GET YOUR ASS READY SHUMAI LETS GOOO

Shuichi smiled to himself, Kokichi wasn’t using grammar anymore and calling him by his nickname. In his case, this was wonderful. Seriously, was going on a trip with Shuichi that great?

On the other hand, as the adrenaline from the plan wore off, this might’ve been the worst decision he’s ever made.

He was going to die from anxiety over missing class, if he didn’t die by Kyoko first.

But.. looking over the texts again.. it was worth it.

..Probably.

-

Shuichi made his bed quickly and shoved everything he might need into a small backpack. Pills, toothbrush, clothes (all black of course), ..binder ( _Hhh. Don’t think about it too_ _much. Fuck off dysphoria, don’t need that right now._ ) and.. maybe some more of those anxiety pills. This was Kokichi after all. He shouldered it his pack and silently, slowly turned his doorknob. He peered out into the darkness of the hallway, more adrenaline creeping into both his chest and head.

Paranoia swirling around his brain told him that at any moment Hajime or Makoto had coincidentally woken up and would come and check on why they heard Shuichi’s room opening, but the light snoring from Hajime’s room and the restful sighing from Makoto’s room assured him this was not the case.

He gave an exhale of relief and stepped out into the hallway...

_Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeak_

_OH THE FUCKING FLOORBOARD DECIDED TO CREAK AT THE ONE MOMENT IT WOULD LEAST BENEFIT ME, GODAMMIT. WHY WHY WHY?!_

_Oh well, if they’d heard that, there was nothing to do but run now._

So he did, as silently as possible he quickly made his way to the apartment door. He slipped on his shoes and swung open the door to find-

“Ah! Hellooooo shumai!”

Ah there it was. The familiar sing-songy voice of Kokichi Ouma.

In the light, you couldn’t see as much of him as usual, but Shuichi could easily make out the atrocious clothing he was wearing. This multicoloured, chaotic, pastel throw-up was what Kokichi called his “Casual Clothing”.

“Again, what is up with your fashion sense?”

Kokichi huffed at the question, although, you could make out that he was grinning.

“Well, nice to see you too Shuichi! And hey, at least I don’t wear all black like a certain Emo-Stan I know.”

Kokichi pulled on the black fabric of Shuichi’s sleeve a little as Shuichi folded his arms in return.

“Well now! Let’s be off shall we! Shumai, carry me to our carriage!”

Shuichi chuckled and lightly pushed him in shoulder as he began to walk.

“No way.”

“Aw, rude.”

-

They got into Shuichi’s car, and as soon as the inside door lights went on, Shuichi could properly get a look at Kokichi’s face.

He looked tired.

His eyes looked slightly red-rimmed and there were blemishes of purple underneath them. It. certainly wasn’t the worst he’d seen the other boy, but it still hurt seeing him like this all the same.

Shuichi was glad that he suggested that they do this. No matter what, he would try to help Kokichi, as Kokichi had helped him for the past few years. He would at least try, even if he couldn’t do much, Shuichi Saihara swore he would at least try.

-

About 20 minutes in, Shuichi suddenly pulled into a McDonald’s driveway, earning a gasp of excitement from Kokichi.

“Shumai!! They have a special on nuggets! Can we stop and go inside? Go on the playground? Man look at those ice creams! Can I get a burger? Fries?”

All Shuichi did was lean into the voice ordering machine and ask for a single black coffee.

And the explosion from Kokichi was instantaneous.

“SHUICHI YOU BULLY! DO YOU HATE ME, HUH HUH? YOU WANT ME TO STARVE TO DEATH? YOU HATE ME DON’T YOU!”

Kokichi shrieked, fake, crocodile tears springing in his eyes.

Shuichi laughed at him, and wheezing a little, he turned back to the (probably fed-up) voice of the woman who was taking their order.

“Okay, okay, I’ll also get two packs of nuggets and a berry milkshake.”

Kokichi beamed at him, stars almost shining in his eyes. Shuichi just scoffed at him in mock annoyance.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re welcome Kokichi, besides, you’re underweight anyway.”

This was true, Kokichi had always been underweight for his age, and Shuichi, for the 4..5? Years he had known Kokichi had never stopped worrying about it.

“Wow!! My beloved Shumai loves me after all!”

Kokichi grinned at him, leaning over and giving his shoulder a light, playful squeeze as a thanks.

Even though Kokichi was joking with his words, Shuichi’s face still went a bit red all the same.

-

“I take back my words from before Shumai, I think you really do hate me.”

Kokichi grumbled, trying to unlock Shuichis password. Kokichi had not in fact, agreed with Shuichi’s normal playlist of all the My Chemical Romance music ordered from oldest to newest. Somehow, mysteriously, Shuichi had added Welcome to the black parade three times in the one shuffle.

Shuichi sighed, tired of the complaining.

“Well if you don’t agree with my choices, you can put on your music I guess.”

Kokichi sprung up in his seat, face lighting up into something so-innocent-yet-so-plotting.

Shuichi realised his own words with a pang of absolute dread.

“Actually scratch that. I’ve heard your playlist, and I have applied bleach into my brain so that I could forget, but I still get flashbacks from time to time.”

Kokichi’s face then dropped into a pout. Then, suddenly into a playful grin again.

“Hey Shumai! Why don’t I be the aux cord!?”

“Oh god.”

Kokichi then sang out a ballad of screechy songs, usually terrible impressions songs of their friends like:

“Oh yes! I am the dumbest astronaut that lived!” In the tune of an old fiddle song.

Or,

“I’m a pig faced bitch, who likes to try and fuck metal all day!” Sung like a rock song.

It had Shuichi in hysterics, even though it was bad to say this stuff about their friends.. he wasn’t entirely wrong in his impressions.

Oh, but then he went onto Komaeda.. and then some stuff about Hajime with Komaeda..

The way he said that stuff was so unexpected, Shuichi, who was sipping his coffee, was caught so off-guard by what Kokichi said, he spat his hot drink all over the dashboard.

Kokichi then dropped his milkshake in a fit of giggles, making it splatter everywhere. So they had to stop off after they left the highway to wipe down the car.

(But to be honest.. Shuichi was having so much fun, he didn’t mind at all.)

. -

A fair way into the car trip, Shuichi’s phone, that was connected to the car, started ringing. Both boys looked up to see who was calling, and a lump of dread managed to make its way into Shuichi’s throat as soon as he saw the contacts name.

Kyoko Kirigiri.

_I am so fucked._

“You’re so fucked.” Kokichi echoing his thought somehow. “She’s probably pissed. Didn’t you leave her a text? A note? Even I left Nagito a note saying I was going to be gone for a bit.”

Shuichi swallowed the lump of dread and shakingly, shook his head.

“I was too caught up in the adrenaline of it all.. I completely forgot.”

Kokichi made a small “o” with his mouth before giving him a shit-eating grin.

“Wow Shumai.. such a bad boy, not telling mother, I’m impressed.”

“Shut up, you do realise you made me do all this.”

“Oh did I now..?”

Kokichi giggled to himself, as red crawled its way across Shuichi’s cheeks.

He held a shaky finger forward and pressed the “accept call button.”

He held his breath.. as soon as the call buffered in, he immediately heard his mentors grim voice.

“Shuichi Saihara, you are so fucking dead when you get back.”

“Ah, Kyoko-“

“Not a note, not a text, to me or even Makoto, Akamatsu, or Hinata. We were all panicking before Komaeda showed us Ouma’s note. Oh, and by the way-“

Her voice turned even more sour, if that was possible.

“Talking of him, hi Ouma.”

Even Kokichi, of all people, had the decency to look quite nervous and fidgety at her tone.

Well until-

“Hey hey Kiwigiwi!! Bit jealous of beloved Shumai and I taking a holiday? Who knows, maybe your apprentice and I will get up to some, uh, fu- mmph!”

He was cut off by Shuichi taking one hand off the wheel and clasping it over Kokichi's mouth.

“You.. alright there you two?”

“Fine! We’re all good Kyoko!”

Shuichi squawked desperately, his voice higher then it should be. He was having a one-handed battle with Kokichi, to keep the stupid gremlins mouth shut, before Kokichi would say something even more stupid.

“You don’t sound fine.”

Kyoko’s voice deadpanned, as she heard Shuichi let out another shriek as Kokichi licked his hand.

“Kokichi!”

Shuichi hissed, wiping his hand on his trouser leg.

“Shuichi!”

Kokichi hissed back, making little “ew ew!” Noises as he wiped his mouth over-dramatically.

“Why are you going ew? You’re the one who licked me!”

“No u!”

“That doesn’t make any sense-“

They were cut off by Kyoko clearing her throat and sighing, and then her voice turned into a warmer tone.

“Oh well, I guess it can’t be helped. Kokichi being down would affect you I guess, so it’s better to solve the problem sooner then later. I hope you’re having fun for once.”

Shuichi smiled to himself. He was enjoying himself on this little trip he found himself noticing, more and more. He looked over at Kokichi, and the grape-haired man himself grinned back.

I guess I am truly having fun. Especially since I’m with-

“Oh and one more thing.”

Kyoko’s voice snapped Shuichi out of his thoughts.

“Go get em tiger.”

Shuichi let out a shriek, his face turning bright red.

“Kyoko!! It’s not like that!”

He could hear a slight chuckle from the detective, in tune with a surprised burst of laughter from Kokichi, his face going a bit red too for some reason.

Two can play at this game!

“Oh well, I’m sorry for making Makoto worry Kyoko, is that’s why you were so upset? I’m terribly sorry, you must’ve had to comfort him. Ah geez, you must’ve had to be forced to get real close to him. Again, my deepest apologies.”

Kokichi stared right at him, a silent, an amused, and slightly shocked grin taking over his features. Shuichi shot him a smirk back.

There was a few beats of silence on the other end, Shuichi guessed she was as bright red as he previously had been.

He heard her voice again, it was cold, and sour, but he caught a hint of fluster, embarrassment, and even betrayal.

“I will not take notes for you while you are gone. You’re on your own. Good day.”

She immediately hung up.

There was silence in the car for a few seconds, taking in Kyoko’s terrifying words.

Then, Kokichi giggled.

And the two fell into hysterics, Shuichi trying to keep the car straight while wiping tears out of his eyes.

They stayed that way for a good ten minutes, laughing off the pure doom that would await them when they got back.

-

“Again. What’s it like having your roommates as well.. roommates?”

They were stuck in traffic and had taken to pushing their seats back a little and chatting about whatever came to mind, stuff they’d done with each other for as long as they were friends. It was almost 6 am, so kind of the right time for it as well.

Kokichi scoffed a little at Shuichi’s question.

“I’ll start with money bags Byakuya Togami. He always ignores Komaeda and I, only interacting with us if seriously needed. It’s an improvement from the start though when he used to literally just sit in his room and pray for different roommates. Togami’s sleeping habits though? Literally sleeps with a money filled pillowcase. Has a huge golden sleeping mask, kinda funny. Also I’m pretty sure the guy has a Mr. Krabs body pillow somewhere.”

Shuichi spluttered a bit at that last bit.

“And Komaeda?”

Kokichi smiled a little to himself and hummed.

“Again, we’re best friends, brother level pretty much. So don’t be jealous of him Shumai!”

“I was not!”

_Maybe a little._

Kokichi giggled a little before continuing.

“Guy’s been through some tough shit. I don't want to out him or anything, but he’s had a pretty fucked up life I’m sure. Blames himself for it all. I’ve heard that Hinata and Nanami made him go into therapy, so good for him.”

You forgot to add that you also had a part in getting help for him.

“Talking about Hinata, I don’t want to out him again, but I hear about his crush on Hinata like.. alllllll the time Shumai. It hurts me a little. Bleh, love, relationships, attraction. Who needs it?”

Shuichi chuckled at that.

“You’re gay Kokichi.”

Kokichi snapped his fingers at that, feigning mock surprise.

“Oh fuck, I am?! I completely forgot!”

Shuichi laughed again. Kokichi just grinned at him before continuing.

“His sleeping though? He gets nightmares a lot, I hear him gasp awake from the other room occasionally, I think but the terrifying part? I’ll be honest, I get scared a lot at night because once he goes to sleep, and usually it’s pretty late mind you, he.. doesn’t make a sound.”

“What?”

“He doesn’t sound like he’s breathing Shumai. Absolutely silent. It’s creepy. I sometimes feel like I should call emergency services or something.”

There was complete silence as Shuichi thought over his words a little.

_He’s right, that is.. worrying._

“Anywhoo~ How do your dumbass roommates sleep Shumai? How are they in general? Should I be jealous?~”

_Stop teasing me like that, fuck. You’re making my face go red again._

“Well.. Makoto sleeps.. normally? Goes to bed kinda early. Just sleeps. And Hajime.. well.. to put it lightly, he snores. A lot.”

Kokichi’s eyes sparkled a little at that. Shuichi could almost see his inner thoughts of potential future blackmail on Hajime.

_Sorry Hajime._

“And go on! Go on! What are they like in general?”

“Hajime’s grouchy sometimes, but he’s a good guy. Likes complaining about all his friends, but it’s obvious he just loves them.. I think. Chiaki’s right when she calls him a.. Tsundere was it? He spends a lot of time on his phone texting someone.. when he’s not over at that person’s apartment. I think we both know who I’m talking about.”

“Yep yep! Dear old Hinata is over at Komaeda’s quite a bit! They’re definitely not obvious in their idiot pining over each other. Now what about egg boy?”

“Makoto’s nice, makes nice breakfasts and chats a lot. Talks about his sister a bit.. his old class.. and well.. mostly..”

“Mostly what?”

Sorry Makoto.

“Mostly Kyoko..”

Kokichi’s grin got bigger and more shit-eating if that’s possible.

“Ohohoho? A detective lover huh? Kinky.”

Shuichi spluttered.

“Don’t put it like that!”

Kokichi laughed and hummed to himself, before looking out the window.

“Hey.. Shuichi, do you think.. Nagito and Hinata, Kirigiri and Naegi will end up together? Even with.. their clear differences.”

Shuichi looked over at him.

Is he blushing..? Weird.

“Yeah.. I’m pretty sure, I mean, you can be as pessimistic as you want about how different those people in their respective pairs are, but I’m sure as long as they are happy, it doesn’t matter.”

“Hehe... yeah.. you’re right.”

It might’ve been the light, but Shuichi was sure he saw Kokichi’s blush darken a bit more.

. -

They had been chatting for awhile, about who knows what. It was fun, Shuichi was having fun. And then a voice rang out on the gps.

“10 minutes till you reach your destination.”

As soon as he heard that, Shuichi saw Kokichi visibly freeze, face go blank. His hands shook a little.

“Hey.. we’re almost there.. you okay?”

Kokichi nodded a little, eyes blank and staring off into space.

He then turned over to the window and stared out of it.

All the noise in the car stopped.

_Kokichi.. I’m so sorry. You’ll be okay, I swear._

They pulled up into a small parking lot under a roof. D.I.C.E lived in an apartment in a cheap area nearby. It wasn’t the best place, a very poor neighbourhood, but from what Shuichi had seen, Kokichi had turned that small filthy place into a fantastic little world that D.I.C.E could call home.

Shuichi turned around after he had turned the car off and saw Kokichi, not looking out the window anymore, but very very still. He was fidgeting with a hem of cloth from one of his disastrous bright shirts. A glazed look in his eyes, lips taut.

He then spoke, voice quiet and slightly shaky.

“What if they’ve all changed?”

Shuichi’s quiet voice answered his worries, it always did.

“I don’t think so. It’s only been a few weeks.”

“What if they hate me for leaving them?”

“They were all so happy you lived your dream and went off to college.”

“..But what if they still hate me? I don’t.. I don’t deserve to be living so selfishly like I am.”

Kokichi’s voice broke a bit at the end.

He was squirming, avoiding all eye contact and starting right down, eyes turned absolutely blank and glassy.

It.. wasn’t the first time Shuichi had seen him like this, and he knew it wasn’t going to be the last. He knew this conversation was coming, through the whole trip. What Kokichi was saying now was probably what had been rolling around in his head for the past few days..weeks? Probably a long time.

Shuichi was never good with comfort, always a bit awkward, but.. fuck it.

“Hey.”

Kokichi finally tore his eyes away from the floor, and looked at him, worry and paranoia and a.. sense of absolute.. hopelessness, shining through the emptiness.

Shuichi prayed to whatever universe was out there that his words would get through.

“Kokichi. They love you.”

_They’re not the only ones-_

_Shut up thoughts! Trying to help someone here!_

“Again. They love you. You’ve stuck with them forever, and given them a life. A life that they wouldn’t have without you doing everything you’ve done for them. But now it’s time to live for yourself, and they want you to do that. And hey, living for yourself doesn’t mean you have to be alone. It’s okay to miss them, they miss you too. But they want you to be happy Kokichi. I do too, y’know. Why do you think I drove all this way? Please just.. just remember that. You deserve happiness.”

Kokichi still just stared at him. Blankly.

_Oh god, oh god I fucked up didn’t I? Shit._

“Ah, Kokichi. Sorry that kind of came out of nowhe-“

Kokichi slumped a little, tears, real ones, starting to form in his eyes. He tightly put one of his hands over his face and tried to squeeze his entire body into a ball, to hide, to not show it. A soft feeling came over Shuichi as he took Kokichi’s free hand and squeezed. Fingers interlacing.

With his other hand he reached out to kokichis shoulder, and when he didn’t pull away, pulled him into a hug.

They stayed that way Kokichi sobbing into Shuichi’s black shirt, and shuichi whispering comforts for who knows how long. And.. that was okay. Even if Kokichi didn’t truly accept Shuichi’s words, that was okay. They would get through this, no matter what. And not alone. Together.

And Shuichi would try his damn hardest to make it that way.

-

They stood at the entrance to the “D.I.C.E Secret Organisation Headquarters.” (It was just a door with a few chains and homemade security defences.) In fact, they had been standing there for a good 5 minutes. Shuichi held onto Kokichi’s hand patiently and Kokichi just.. Staring blankly at the door. Shuichi hummed a little, and finally turned to Kokichi.

“You.. okay to go in? Or do you just want to wait here a bit longer. I don’t mind either way.”

Kokichi stiffened a little, almost as if he’d been snapped out of a daydream.

“Yeah.. I’m.. gonna..”

He put his hand on the doorknob, and slipped in his old key.

But didn’t turn it.  
His eyes grew big at his own action, and then he quickly turned around, hand ripping from Shuichi’s.

“Maybe.. Maybe we shouldn’t go in. Shuichi lets just go back, I don’t think they’d want to see me and-”

“Kokichi.”

“Maybe they’re not at home, maybe they’ll get angry-”

“Kokichi.”

Shuichi held the other boy lightly by the shoulder.

“Stop doing this, have you forgotten? They’re your family. Your siblings. You all escaped from that orphanage together, you helped them. You grew up rough, but you’ve all made it out, together, still all are together after all this time. Trust me when I tell you that it’ll be okay.”

Kokichi sniffed a little.

“Yeah. Okay.”

He then shuffled over to the doorknob again and turned the key.

_Click!_

He slowly turned the door open.

There was a sudden yell, from a young girl it sounded like.

“THERE'S AN INTRUDER! EVERYONE, GET UP, SOMEONE HELP-”

A small girl, very long brown hair pulled into long half-done plaits, appeared in the hallway entrance of the apartment, a nerf gun in hand, yelling, face tight and determined.

“EVERYBODY-”

She stopped mid sentence, as soon as she saw who was there. She dropped her nerf gun at her side, eyes widening, face slack.

“Ko..Kokichi?”

Then other D.I.C.E members started appearing, fierce at first, with toy weapons, but all wearing the same shocked, frozen, expression as soon as they saw their leader. The entire atmosphere was silent and tense. Until Kokichi let out a small breath and spoke out nervously.

“H..Hey everyone. I’m back for a visit.”

A few more seconds of silence before the first girl let out a small sob, and rushed forward, crashing him into a hug. All the others followed suit, and Shuichi stood back a little, feeling like he was intruding a little.

There seemed to be multiple conversation going out at one, as they all crowded around the little leader, squeezing him tightly.

“It’s so good to see you again!”

“I.. We.. Missed you boss.”

“Yeah, it’s not the same without our little brother!”

“Big brother to some of us!”

“Are you doing okay at college?”

“Why did you come to visit? Not that we mind of course!”

“Are.. Are you okay Kokichi?”

Throughout the whole thing, Kokichi was silent, staring blankly into space while being squished between everyone.

But after that final statement.. He broke. He let out a small sob, a few tears running down his face. He quickly rubbed his sleeve over his face, but the D.I.C.E members didn’t mind. They squeezed him tighter, tears running down their faces too. They were.. A family. Kokichi didn’t have to worry. They weren’t mad, they didn’t blame him for anything. They loved him. They all loved him.

Shuichi’s heart warmed at the sight, shuffling away.

Kokichi saw him and sniffed, a small grin on his face.

“Oh come on Shumai. Get in here.” He wriggled his hand out of all the arms of his family, and held it out to him. Shuichi nervously smiled and took it. He was suddenly pulled with such force into a huge warm hug pile. He chuckled softly… It was nice.

-

After everyone had stopped crying, a very.. chubby looking D.I.C.E member put on tea. They all went to the lounge, most of the D.I.C.E members taking up very strange positions of the couches, like lying over the back of them, doing handstands across them and all sorts.

It’s very.. Kokichi-like. Was all Shuichi could think about how they behaved.

Everyone crowded around Kokichi. Still throwing at him all sorts of questions. Kokichi didn’t seem to mind at all though, answering them all with a small smirk on his face.

“How’s that marshmallow hair dude been?”

“Alright. He’s been all over studying at the moment I guess.”

“Hehe, has he gotten with that spikey haired dude?”

“Not yet ha! Those losers will soon, I’m sure.”

“Awww.. A shame. He was cute.”

“Oi. Don’t let Hinata hear that Spades.”

The D.I.C.E Member who was boiling the tea before came over to him.

“Hey Hey Saihara. What tea do you like?”

“Oh, I don’t mind whatever you have. Actually wait.. I’m impressed that you remembered my name. We’ve only met a few times.. I think?”

Suddenly every pair of eyes in the room was on him. And every face those eyes belonged to was smirking.

A very deep voiced woman with medium-length blonde hair laughed, nudging Kokichi.

“Oh… we know your name very well Saihara. Isn’t that right little bro?”

Kokichi’s ears turned a bright red colour.

“Queen! Shut it!”

He pushed her in the shoulder, and she pushed him right back.

_Wh.. What did she mean by that? Shuichi could feel his face flush a little too._

A smaller girl with brown hair tied into long twisting pigtails, who.. Looked to be about the same age as Kokichi cackled as well.

“Dumbass gay here has been like suuuper in love with you Saihara. He’s been this way for at least three year-”

_Wait. WHAT?_

“SHUT IT-”

Kokichi was bright red now, and he held a hand over the girl’s mouth.

“Don’t listen to her Shuichi. Ace here is full of lies!”

She licked his hand, and he shrieked, before the two got into a small sibling tussle. All the other D.I.C.E Members laughed, egging them on.

_What.. What did she mean by that? Surely he hasn’t. We’re.. We’re friends right? He wouldn’t. No, she must be lying. Thats it right? Yeah. That must be it._

But as Shuichi’s face turned even more pink, and he softly smiled at the other boy, he couldn’t fully convince himself of his own thoughts.

-

They spent most of the day in the house just.. Chatting. Shuichi just sat and watched them all, a smile on his face throughout the entire thing. The youngest D.I.C.E Member, who was the one that first saw them, still had to go to school as she was well, nine. She complained a lot until Shuichi and Kokichi walked her there, and picked her up in the afternoon, Kokichi as short as he was, still giving her a piggyback.

They all went to a nearby park together and D.I.C.E suddenly called upon an old tradition which was... a prank war when they got back. Needless to say, Shuichi participated with Kokichi and ended up being soaked to the bone in water balloons, got electrocuted by a hand buzzer twice, and had very salty tea.

You wouldn’t think an anxious almost-detective teen would enjoy that kind of thing, but he did. He was laughing along with the rest of them by the end of the night.

-

At around 10pm, when they had put the youngest member to sleep, the D.I.C.E members all set up a bed for Shuichi in Kokichi’s (old) room.

He lay on a comfortable mattress on the floor, observing all the little knickknacks of Kokichi’s room as Kokichi went out to clean his teeth. The room was.. Very Kokichi. Kokichi had lot’s of second hand manga all over dusty shelves, strange stickers of what looked like video game characters, old scruffy drawings of.. Some sort of batcave? Clown masks, toys, puppets, and.. Lots of framed pictures of the members of D.I.C.E.. and the class in the first year.. And oh.

One of.. Shuichi.

Well not exactly, it still had Kokichi in it too, it was a picture Kaede had taken of them when she found them at their favourite cafe that they’d go to almost every second day. It had them both smiling, Kokichi poking his tongue out at the camera and Shuichi laughing. It was around two years ago now, where they had become.. Very close. Shuichi had thrown away his hat, and Kokichi had started opening up to him more.

Shuichi thought back to the girl’s.. Ace was it? Words before.

_Does he like me?_

_And if so does he know I like him too-_

“Hey hey! Shumai!”

As Shuichi snapped back to reality, Kokichi skipped in wearing colourful pyjamas and a wide grin.

“Oh hey.”

Shuchi smiled as Kokichi made his way over to his own bed and slid in.

“Whatcha doing there Shumai?”

“Ah.. Nothing Kokichi.. Just spacing out I suppose. Sorry.”

Kokichi hummed.

“You need to stop apologising so much, silly detective.”

“I’m not a detective yet.”

“Yeah, but you will be, and when you do, you’ll investigate me and find out that I'm actually a phantom thief that has been stealing precious things from across the world! Including your heart!”

Shuichi laughed at that, feeling his cheeks tingle.

_I mean, he’s practically done that already._

“What, what do you mean by that Shuichi..?”

_OH FUCK I SAID THAT OUTLOUD DIDNT I?! FUCKFUCKFUCK-_

Shuichi coughed.

“Nothing. Sorry.”

Shuichi internally kicked himself for being so awkward.

_Why am I such a bad liar?_

He heard a soft laugh.

“Huh. Whatever you say.”

There were a few moments of soft silence before he heard Kokichi speak up again.

“Hey.. Shuichi.. About today.”

There were a few more beats of silence before Shuichi decided to prompt him further.

“Yeah Kokichi?”

More silence. Then Kokichi let out a bitter laugh.

“I’m sorry I acted like that. It wasn’t.. It wasn’t my usual act. Was it? I’m sorry you had to help me. I was being paranoid. I should’ve listened to you from the beginning. You were right, it went.. Great. Sorry again if I messed it up.”

Shuichi felt a pang of sympathy. He wished he could give the other boy a hug again.

“Kokichi.. It’s okay. Even after all these years.. I’m glad you open up to me, every time. God knows you’ve helped me more times then I can say. And I know that I’m a lot better than I was. Still, I’m y’know, but I’m getting better everyday. I will say, a lot of that is thanks to you. It means a lot to me that you trust me with your thoughts. So please, don’t apologise. I’m really happy I came along.. You didn’t ruin anything, this trip was about you, but even so.. I had a lot of fun.”

There was even more silence as Shuichi was sure Kokichi was just absorbing Shuichi’s words. Then he heard a croaky voice, laced with.. Pure emotion.. of joy.

“Thank you Shuichi.”

Then then two settled off into a peaceful sleep. The best that Shuichi had in awhile.

(NO SHARED BED CLICHE IN MY FIC THANK YOU.)

The next afternoon they said goodbye to the D.I.C.E Members. Kokichi would never admit it, but tears were shed. They all waved goodbye with promises to visit soon.

The car ride back was less chatty, but there was a warm peace in that seemed to settle around the two. A contentedness. They still laughed, and talked but it felt more comfortable and the atmosphere was free from any anxiety that they had coming there. By the time they got back it was sunset, the sky was a golden pink colour with a few white clouds here and there.

The two grabbed their backpacks out of the car and stood in the parking lot, staring at the sky.

Shuichi was also very distracted by how the gold lit up Kokichi’s face and his oddly coloured hair, and how he looked so happy and at peace staring at the sky and-

_Ah shit, he's now looking at me._

“Getting a good view detective?”

Kokichi giggled, giving him a wink.

Shuichi said nothing, only felt his cheeks go red. Kokichi hummed, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. Then, after who knows how long, Kokichi spoke again, walking right up right next to him, strands of his hair in the breeze almost tickling the side of Shuichi’s face.

“We should probably go back huh? But first.. I wanted to thank you again Shuichi. For.. everything.”

And before Shuichi could register what was happening, Kokichi moved onto his toes and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

“I-It’s been fun! See ya!”

Kokichi then sprinted off, face pink, and a huge smile to accompany it.

Shuichi felt his face go even redder than before, and he lifted up his hand to touch his cheek, making sure that the tingling feeling that was left on it wasn’t a dream.

He smiled to himself, looking up at the sky.

_Throughout all these years.. I wonder, I wonder when he stole my heart._

_And no matter what life throws at us, I’m so very happy he did._


End file.
